So I was away for a few days recently at the wonderful gathering that is Rock Werchter. Its basically a festival with the best line-up I could have thought of (Not including acts who are disbanded or who have died...Obviously).
It was pretty awesome I mean yeah there was over 22 hours of bus journey to contend with and apparently "Does this train go to Brussels Nord" doesn't cross the language barrier but still we made it. Also there was a bus driver who simply didn't believe in the concept of red lights in London so its actually much more of an achievement than it sounds.
I realise that the summer you finish college or any other form of higher education is the usual time that people go to Magaluf on one of these incredibly boisterous 'Lad's Holidays' that I am not at all upset about not being invited to join...But no we thought Belgium would be the best place to go with it.
Still it was pretty awesome with so many bands, despite the 30 degree heat each day which attempted to turn my skin into well-done lobster. I also had to sacrifice one of the very few pairs of jeans that I can find that will fit me as I actually don't own a pair of shorts but I felt very Bear Grylls using a knife in such a context.
It was a lot of hard work though I mean it was a good half hour walk from our tents to the main stage and I wasn't able to get my regular fix of two films a day in. But still, I found out a new way which the Belgian's are very fond of, of talking to women, it includes water pistols and many inappropriate 'girls being wet' jokes following. It didn't really work.
But during my time there I did realise how lazy the English are, pretty much everyone we talked to there spoke English in one form or another, and yet my languages were limited to bad French and one thing in Spanish to which I will not disclose now.
However they say never to fall in love in Jersey but I figured this was the small Belgian town of Werchter so I was okay alas. Veronica the Icelandic girl will forever remain a faint memory in my mind. Oh the 20 minutes we talked and you told me to slow down so you could understand me shall forever be memories. To be fair the only way I could remember her name, was by remembering the short-lived 'Veronica Mars' show. But still there was chemistry. I mean I gave her a beer she accepted. Now you tell me that isn't love.
Still there were some interesting moments on the trip back. Such as, the bus driver almost leaving two of our party at the Belgian equivalent of a BP on the motorway, after we screamed "NO" to his question of, are we all here.
There was the argument that me and my friend Callum had. He claimed that if he could go all the way to the end on one of those mechanical rodeo bulls with the foam covering, then he would be much more likely to take on a real bull. Now I realise that some people may think that there is logic to this, but lets lay out the facts.
The mechanical bull is soft, and cushy, if you fall the worst part is that you have spent £4 for 30 seconds entertainment.
A real bull is hard and full of bones, and may have horns. If you fall off you may be gored.
The mechanical ones move predictably in circles, using centrifugal force to make you fall.
Real bulls are unpredictable, angry, and will want to hurt you (Also if your a guy, they could care less about you 'special area').
So yeah thats why real bulls are nothing like mechanical ones.
Lastly, I'm just going to share some facts that I have learnt in my time in Belgium.
- People over there really do put mayonnaise on fries. "They drown them in that sh*t".
- Belgians like the head on their beer. Apparently it's the best part. And I just thought they never knew how to pour a beer correctly.
- There are words that people from Iceland cannot pronounce at all, funnily enough she couldn't tell me what they were.
- Deadmau5 has a picture of me on his phone. Don't ask why.
- Everyone is tall in Belgium. I feel short and I'm 6 foot 3.
- Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chillies looks like J. Jonah Jameson of Sam Mendes Spiderman when he has a Mustache.
- Getting into the main stage there is a scanner and two manual checks on your wristband to make sure you aren't sneaking in, but the rules are fairly lax on drugs and guns.
- The girls that Lipton hired to represent Iced Tea at the festival sadly probably weren't hired for their personality.
- Lipton has some seriously attractive representatives.
- They do make 96% alcohol. And apparently it's disgusting.
- Belgian's have never heard of shotgunning a beer. They weren't impressed.
- If a bus driver has a time to keep, he turns into The Transporter and will stick to it, regardless of leaving passengers behind or road law.
- Riding a mechanical bull all the way to the end is not a good way to prepare for riding a real bull.
- If it's the last day and communications have broken down, then getting on a train to the airport and hoping it stops somewhere in Brussels will pay off.
- Mayonnaise and ketchup with chips is delicious...
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