As many of my friends know I have this fairly outlandish fantasy of moving to London and making a name for myself in the media industry. One of the trickiest bits of this was the timing, the idea is to get an apprenticeship at the same time as getting a flat or a shared house.
But this is a problem because the likelihood of being able to find either of those two things with timings that matched up that were in my price range etc. would be so very very unlikely. So I'm faced with the choice, do I find a place to stay knowing that I won't be able to afford it and have a small heart attack every time someone asks me what I do for a living?
Or do I find work and hope that it is an office full of jock types who actually have an initiation (Side-note, I was halfway having to Google the words "Tests to pass before you can get into a club" before remembering the right word) that you must sleep in the office every night of the week for two months before you can live in your own place. I realise that this is very Tom Hanks in The Terminal-esque and one could only hope that Catherine Zeta-Jones is the 'wily' fox who comes in and breaks her high heel on my (at this point imaginary) work-desk. Plus Stanley Tucci as my boss would be awesome...
But still through some weird twist of fate this actually seems like my best option at this point.
Still I have figured out tactics for when I do come to 'Room-mate' interviews. As apparently an apprentice's salary won't cover the monthly costs of a top floor apartment with balcony and Feng Shui indoor Koi pond, plus apparently hiring Emma Stone as your maid costs extra. Shame. As a 'for-instance' I shall tell you of the group of people already in a shared house who put up an ad. But! It was all caps. The entire ad, I'm not sure if one scary individual specifically wanted this or if it was group decision. Either way I'm not sure I could live in such a place where caps lock was thrown about as if it were normal conversation. But I guess if I was going to have to apply I would dress up like one of those characters from that loathsome 'Party Rock Anthem' video. Maybe come in with my Dre. Beats around my neck but still pumping out music loud enough for everyone to hear.
Another example, an ad stating that they were all massive Harry Potter fans. Easy.
"So may we see a reference?"
"Sure."
I then place on the table all 7 of my Harry Potter books which are dog-eared and worn for the fact that "I just can't seem to put them down!"
Insert Smiley Face.
Also I then place my Harry Potter Set containing all 8 films, totalling 17 DVDs in total, all presented in a rather smart steelbook casing.
I realise I am coming off as a douche at the moment so let me just mention that I am not without my own faults. I mean I talk. A lot. Too much. I'm the type off guy who tries to see off awkward moments by saying "Well, that was awkward". Also I am up to the wee hours of the morning most days finding weird and crazy stuff on YouTube.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
So really this post could be plead for help. If you want someone to live with, with all of the said above 'qualities' then please help a guy out. Or maybe it will just be the one person from Germany who has read this blog who could help me out. Who knows..?
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