I was recently going through my 'mandatory because it's 2013 and if you don't have one it's like you don't exist Facebook page' and I saw that I was receiving updates from things I had liked when I had joined in 2008.
Now back then I was much less of a stickler for liking stuff so there was a lot of it. I also lied a lot more back then because when you go to a boarding school you don't see much of the outside world so really I wasn't sure what stage of development I should be at, and I was definitely not going to go along with what everyone else at that school did...
Anywho I realised what with Facebook tracking your stuff blah blah and employers now finding you they could see the things that it seemed I was interested in and there is no way for them to see when I liked it so they could believe that I liked the group "BEST HOMEWORK EXCUSE EVER! WORKS EVERY TIME!!!1!" yesterday, when in reality that was definitely not the case. How I ever moved forward in education with such a disastrous online trail is beyond me.
I'm not talking about the little things like them knowing I have a penchant for "Bourbon Biscuits" or "Chris Addison" in fact the opposite both show I am a relatively down to Earth guy that likes to laugh but the things like "Sorry Liver, But You're Going To Be Working Overtime This Summer". Pretty sure I liked that in 2010 when I was 15. And I'm even more sure that I drank no alcohol that summer. So the fact is apparently to potential clients or employers I look like a seasonal alcoholic who loves chocolate biscuits and in a similar vein hates it when you try to twist an Oreo and it breaks. Oh and "BUS WANKERS!" That doesn't even make sense! Does it mean I like the phrase bus wankers of do I literally love people on bus stops breaking indecent exposure laws?
Still the point I'm trying to make is that Facebook is a dangerous thing and even though I may swear occasionally on Facebook or have the odd bad drunken photo (which is always weird because at the time in which they are taken I always feel fabulous) we can rest assured that someone else has it worse. Until we get to that person in which case it's just hard cheese.
Although the likes isn't the worst of it. The updates and comments are like reading a bad book of poetry. As in really bad like unpublished. And by book I mean stack of paper I write on when drunk, which of course was definitely not in 2010.
It's the use of numbers as words, g2g, l8er etc. It's not even ironic!
Also the capitalisation of every word phase of 2009. Which Was Actually A Lot More Trouble Than It Was Worth. But then again at the time if it was a noun and it wasn't capitalised it didn't look right.
And LOL. The bane of my online life. There was no wittiness. It was just pure absent minded filth. I hate it. It's even worse than when my mother makes an abbreviation unknown to anyone but herself.
"BBIHAHLFT"
"What?"
"Be back in half an hour lasagne for tea, duh!"
Yes I know my Mother is in an American High School. But she is much better at technology than other out there so it's not that bad.
So basically I'm just trying to say learn from my mistakes, if you're just joining Facebook as a young child then how did you find this? Seriously who points you in the direction of a young man's ramblings about things that happened before you hit puberty? But also don't like weird Facebook pages.
Now go! Cleanse your pages and free yourselves from the torment of getting posts from "The 'Sup Nod". Or don't and just make your page private I really don't mind.
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